Christmas Lights

I'm not quite sure how it's December 21st already. One barely has time to turn around once December begins, and then it's over. Without final exams, school events, and tons of Christmas programs I thought that December would be a little more relaxed, BUT no such luck this year. Goings-on at the shelter have been busier than ever. Since it's been over two weeks since my last blog, I'll give a short bulleted overview of events since my last update:

• Dealt with a big verbal blow-up two Saturdays ago between two residents during on-duty time. Pretty high-stress. Had to tell a mom to "go to her room."
• Got a new roommate! Her name is Tiffany, and she's an Intercultural Studies student at Fuller Seminary. She's GREAT, and now I'm not alone as the only nights/weekends manager.
• Endured a flu epidemic among the residents here. I mentioned that I got sick, but literally every single staff member and nearly every resident, mothers and children, has gotten the flu sometime in the past month. The same weekend I had to deal with the verbal fight, another mom got really sick one evening. Tiffany and I attended to her baby and toddler while she was on the bathroom floor getting everything out, so-to-speak. I must admit I felt bad for her, but it was ironic because this particular mom has complained a lot that we are extremely "unhelpful" and "uncompassionate." She had even blown up on me earlier that day because of this issue! 
• Went to a Christmas party at the Beverly Hills Hotel with a woman from church who works there. It truly felt like a Cinderella night, because I got all dressed up, got a makeover from one of the moms here, and got to see inside one of the most luxurious five-star hotels in the country. Then at midnight... poof! All over. The only differences were that I still had both my shoes at the end of the night and no prince. I was glad to have my shoes though, because I really like them :)
• Tonight is Door of Hope's annual Christmas party and reunion. All residents and program alumni are invited to the huge event, and every single family created a wish list which Door of Hope annually has a Christmas drive for. The families will each receive gifts. We occasionally receive vehicles to present to deserving families, and we have chosen one of Glendale's moms to give a vehicle to tonight! I'm so excited, because this mom works very, very hard, has four kids who I LOVE. They are so deserving! Her old vehicle broke down a few weeks ago, and she has to use her day care company's van to drive to and from work even though it costs a boatload in gas. 

Bug Bugs, Flu Bugs & Phone Bugs... Just Kidding, Not the Last One :)

Cockroaches are gross. I don't think I've ever even seen one live before coming to California, not this many anyway. The far end of the building has been fighting an infestation for several months, with exterminators coming several times. If you don't know much about them, they like to come out at night when it's dark. Our kidsroom is one of the infested rooms, and the two times I've had to go in for things at night I could hear them walking on the linoleum floor and countertops when I walked in - no joke. I saw at least twenty of them the first time I walked in, and needing to check the computer hookup, I took a couple minutes to get myself adjusted to their presence and they to mine or else scurried away from the light. When I bent down to plug something in and a big one climbed out of the electrical socket, I think I seriously came close to a heart attack. This morning the exterminator came again, and after we were allowed re-entry into the room dead skeletons were all over the floor. I immediately resolved to vacuum them up. Unfortunately there were many live ones mixed in with the dead. After many squeals and squeamish cries of anguish, my co-worker and I managed to alleviate those visible. Out of sight, out of mind, for now.

After a weekend in spent in bed, I was elated to finally get out of my apartment and see the world again today. I caught a bug mid-week last week and began feeling rather snuffly, sneezy, and a little "off" in the head (as stopped up nasal passages somehow seem to stop up the brain as well). Of course, I took it only as seasonal allergies. With children coughing, sneezing, salivating, and transferring countless other unknown questionable substances from themselves to me, it was only a matter of time before I caught something. Plus the fact that half the city has some sort of flu or cold virus. I thought I was getting over it Saturday as I started to get my voice back, but my body decided that the scrumptious Chinese dinner I ate that night needed to go. And it did, as soon as I was able to get myself back into the building and make it to the bathroom. Saturday night was the most miserable I've had in a while, waking up nearly every hour from nausea and restlessness. I tend to be super independent, but this was one of those times when I felt pretty helpless and desperate and... yes, I had to call my mommy in the middle of the night just to cry and hear her voice. Even though mommies don't necessarily have magical healing powers, there's something about having them coddle you when you're sick - even if it's over the phone as a working 20-something - that makes you feel a bit stronger, like you can go on, just because you know they heard you.

I haven't been in my room for that extended a period of time like... ever, and while unpleasant, it forced me to slow down and get some much-needed rest.

Day of Fun

What a day! It began at 7:30 a.m., a good time when you're not in the habit of staying up late almost every night watching movies. But I must admit, movies are becoming my best friend. Anyway, the early Saturday morning was due to an Eagle Scouts group coming to do a service project for Door of Hope Glendale. I just had to make sure they had everything they needed to do their work. Their project is a huge blessing to us - they planted a bush-fence around the side yard so that we can now do stuff with the kids there without them running out into the street. It looks GREAT, and they also bought us a new patio set and some storage bins for the kids' outdoor toys. As I observed the middle and high school boys, it reminded me of being in groups like that doing service projects... and now I'm on the receiving end, working at a nonprofit. It's a cool turn-around. If it weren't for doing all those mission trips and community service, I probably wouldn't be in this line of work.

First November Post

Today during homework time, I helped one of my seven-year-old boys with his spelling words. (I'll call him Jordan, not his real name, for the sake of his security. It would probably be fine, but it's better to be safe than sorry.) Jordan has been improving in his spelling and reading by leaps and bounds since the beginning of the school year. He began to get a little frustrated when I told him to change something and said, "This is too hard!"

One of our volunteers was nearby and said, "In life you have to do things that are hard."

Jordan replied, "But this isn't life!"

God of This City

From the first time I heard that song, "God of This City," (originally by Bluetree, also recorded by Chris Tomlin) I loved it. It was inspired during a trip to Thailand when the band had the opportunity to play in a bar in the heart of a city there. The city was highly well-known for tourism, prostitution, and homelessness. As the songwriter was ministering, he was moved with the thought that despite the huge magnitude of pain, poverty, and sin God still has His claim on that city and every city in the world. Things aren't yet as He intends them to be, but He is Lord of lords. He is the God of the city, even if the people don't know it. He will remake this earth so that every city is free of the bondage it is currently in.

I often consider that, especially now that I'm living in a city. The city is usually perceived as a place that is God-less. Living so close to a big city like Los Angeles, I feel that godlessness at times. One of my wonderful new friends that I work with shared with me that there exist some groups in the area which target youth and college campuses to bring them into their "churches" by offering love and acceptance but then teach them deceptive philosophy and cut them off from their families through manipulative beliefs. It scared me because these groups are growing quickly and they are deceiving the very future of our nation. But on two separate occasions now as I was driving through at night, the bright lights lighting up the sky that song came on the radio:

While On-Duty

I'm on-duty this weekend for the first time by myself. It's been a fairly busy evening, signing out vacuum cleaners, doing rounds, and dealing with a minor situation, but overall not too bad tonight. To be honest, I'm glad that I got to see several of the moms tonight. Working this new job on-site places me much closer to our families. To be honest, it's been a struggle for me to feel connected and put my heart into my job thus far. Dealing with kids is easy; dealing with grown-ups... not so much. There is a lot of drama, and it's easy to get caught up in it all. But yesterday I found myself in a conversation with one of our moms who is hopefully coming to the end of a two-year-long divorce case. She nearly lost her kids in the custody battle and then thought she was going to die during a physical and emotional breakdown. She had attended church for years and thought she had faith, but this trial in her life forced her to turn to God like never before. I was so thankful that she was able to share some of her story with me. Truly these women have a whole lot of garbage to wade through. They are battered and scarred inside. But they are so strong and beautiful and talented. For a Door of Hope fundraising event held last night, the women decorated a door as a piece of art, and let me tell you... it was amazing! Even just tonight during my interactions with them, I realize that I have a whole lot to learn from them. Pray for us: pray for the women to find what they need and pray for me to love them and their children well.

I'm seeking inspiration right now. All the changes that have taken place recently with moving, meeting new people, finding my place in this environment seem to dull my thinking. What I mean is that normally as I learn and experience new things my brain gets super philosophical as I interpret and process everything. Maybe I've been out of school too long. Ha. It's certainly a possibility. I must admit that I miss being in the academic world. I don't miss the endless hours of reading and writing papers whose deadlines nip at my heels, but I miss that kind of learning. I'm still learning now, but it's a much different kind of learning. It's life experience. Hmmm. Still, maybe I'll start looking up some info on grad schools. On-duty time means I'm stuck inside my apartment all day, perfect time for internet research :)

Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away

It's raining in southern California! Woo hoo! It's not just a drizzle, and it's not a downpour but rather a comfortable rain that goes on for a few hours, enough to clean things off. It's cooled down to a pleasant 58 degrees so that many people are in jackets and scarves, too. Those of us from out-of-state are pretty psyched about this wet weather. A nice cool rain was but a dream in my radar, but little did I know that it was actually in the weather radar for this week. My car has been needing a good washing, and while this won't completely do the trick, at least the build-up of dust will rinse off.

My car issues have subsided, thank goodness, and I'm finally registered with the state, got auto insurance, and have my new license plate. I'm excited to have that all taken care of. I still have to get around to attaching my front plate (California requires drivers to have plates on front and back), but I haven't gotten around to digging through the garage to find a tool to do it. I think I also seem to like to test the cops... will they actually stop me for it? Haha, we'll see.

A lot has happened pretty quickly since my last post. The biggest piece of news (which was just decided a couple days ago) is that I'm moving! I decided to take on one of the night & weekend manager positions at Door of Hope which will require me to live on-site. Our other new manager (who will be my new roommate) just moved here last Friday from Indiana. I'm going to start the process of transporting my stuff from Pasadena to Glendale tomorrow and hopefully be staying in my apartment at night by Friday. It's been difficult to get to the point of feeling settled, but I'm hoping that this move will finally allow me to feel at home. It is a huge financial blessing, and I'm so thankful to Door of Hope for providing the housing. It's going to be a great opportunity to interact more with the moms. I know the kids now pretty well, but this new job will offer more involvement with their moms. Surely it will come with tons of new challenges as well, so please pray for me and Julie, my new roommate, in this transition as we live with the Door of Hope families.

I bought my ticket home for Christmas! I'm super excited to be home for a week. I definitely miss the East Coast, Delaware, and my family and friends back home, but in less than three months I'll be home already! Time is flying.

Cheerlady

My car issues are on the up-and-up! I passed my smog inspection this morning! I was praying the whole time I sat in the waiting room, after failing it last week and then having to take it to a mechanic to fix some stuff and then get the oil changed. Now all I have to do to complete my vehicle registration is get to my appointment with the DMV on Thursday. The end is in sight!

I'm on my third week with the kids now, so we're starting to get more comfortable with each other... well, I am. They didn't really require must adjustment. Kids seem pretty adaptable. Mine are, anyway :) We currently have seven kids coming consistently in the after school program, but we are looking to fill three rooms with new families as soon as possible. Three families have graduated or moved out since I've been here, so there is obviously lots of transition here. (I guess that's why it's called transitional housing. Yeah.)

Today, one of my sweet, chatty little kindergarten girls began talking about sports. She made the claim that football is a "nasty sport because boys play it." I told her that girls do sometimes play football too, but then she told me, "No, girls play nice sports, like cheerlady!" You can't help but love these kids. Every day, I look forward to hearing what they're gonna say next. It's definitely a difficult transition moving out here alone, but the kids remind me why I'm here. They are my cheerleaders and don't even know it.

Stop Signs and Red Lights

My car and driving are the biggest sources of anguish for me. I just got home from work for the night, for the second time. As I pulled up to a stop on the street in front of my house tonight, I realized that my temporary parking permit had expired today and that I needed to get a new one for the next week so I won't get a parking ticket. I never even got out of my car and instead headed to the nearest machine about five minutes away. I will eventually get an annual permit, but first my car has to get registered in the state of California.... and before that I had to get a smog check which I did this morning, but it didn't pass... so before I get that I need a mechanic to fix it so it will pass inspection... and I had to get my own car insurance in California... and after all that I will hopefully get my permit. All of this because the city of Pasadena requires that I have a parking permit! I'm wondering if I should have lived in a different city...

Anyway, I got the permit and headed home. I was on a pretty dark, non-busy road, and before I knew it I had run through a stop sign, never seeing it until I was in the middle of the road already. Ugh! I thanked God that no one had seen me. Then I turned onto my street and approached the one set of lights I had to cross before my house. It turned yellow but I had plenty of time to get through. Or so I thought... I think my brain was in slow mode because I was paranoid about running through the stop sign and going slower than I should have because somehow it took me way longer than I thought it would to get under that light.... then it turned red.... then I thought I saw a flash of white light.... Oh no, not a camera!! NOOOO!!! I've been told Pasadena has traffic light cameras everywhere and that they send you tickets in the mail.... maybe since I still don't have my California tag on I'll get out of the ticket.

If I ever get through one day without some vehicle or driving issue, it will be a miracle.

Baking on a Lovely Sunday Afternoon

I am in between pans of cookies baking in the oven, the delicious aroma wafting through the house. It hasn't been such a lovely atmosphere for long, because my first pan came out smoking. Our stove/oven is an older model that runs on gas with the numbers rubbed off, so I have to guess what temperature I'm putting it on. I quickly flew open all the kitchen windows and begged God to keep the fire alarm from going off. With my luck it would alert the fire company, and I'd end up with five firetrucks in front of the house, neighbors angry because of the ruckus, and my embarrassed self turning away the firemen as I told them it was only burned cookies. Thankfully that story is only in my imagination and didn't end up happening.

I've kept the windows open because it's a perfectly lovely day, sunny in the mid-80s, but nice in the shade. I went to the church of my new co-worker and friend, Anne. I can't express how much I've missed being in church on a Sunday! I missed the last three Sundays because of travel or training. It was wonderful to be in the pre-service Bible study and dig deeply into the Word of God and then to worship along with people I didn't yet know but felt a special bond with simply because we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.

DISCLAIMER: I Am Not an Airhead

For some reason I am incredibly blessed. I can't understand why there are so many people in the world who suffer terribly, but God chooses to meet my every single need, sending me help exactly when I need it. Yesterday our supervisor at Door of Hope Glendale (where I work) sent me over to Door of Hope Pasadena (our other location) when she found out that I needed some groceries. Door of Hope gets food donations from Trader Joe's (an AWESOME grocery store!) a couple times a week. When I got there, the staff welcomed me warmly. Then one of the ladies there got me all fixed up with a box of eggs, bread, frozen meats, and.... what I was perhaps most excited about... peanut butter! Peanut butter was probably the most important thing on my list since it's pretty cheap and does well for breakfast, lunch, or dinner :) Plus it's one of my favorite foods. She kept giving me more stuff, and I finally had to tell her to stop because I have limited space to store it all. Then she asked me if I had a pressure cooker, found a brand-new one among their donations, and gave it to me! I had to fight tears of thankfulness. I haven't even really used crock pots much in life myself, but my mom has and says that they make life much simpler when it comes to needing easy meals. She also gave me a beautiful bamboo cutting board. I left feeling pretty blessed and happy. I must admit that food is one of the things I love most about life, but this is the first time I've ever gotten emotional over kitchen supplies.

Staff Retreat

I returned this evening with the Door of Hope staff from a retreat on Lake Havasu in Arizona. We did some organizational strategic planning and discussion on how to better the organization, but we also got to spend lots of time getting to know each other as a staff. We spent Saturday afternoon on the lake with jet skis and our board president's speed boat. I was hoping I would get to try water skiing, but unfortunately it didn't end up happening due to time constraints. It was lots of fun to watch our executive director going crazy on the jet ski, just like a kid in a candy store.

While we had tons of fun together, we also spent some time sharing each others' stories about how God led us to Door of Hope. How amazing it was to see how each person's life experiences had so well fit him or her into the Door of Hope family. We spent time this morning in prayer for each other, focusing on how we needed to re-connect with God. I'm so very thankful to be a part of this family, and it truly feels just like a family. While it is a legitimate 501(c)3 with all that goes with it, Jesus is at the heart of the ministry. 

Unfortunately Satan sees the work that is being accomplished and the great faith behind it, and he doesn't like it. We saw him fighting against us even last week, when several staff members became sick or injured and were  prevented from attending the retreat with us. Then on Saturday it became very obvious that something we couldn't see was going on. Our Glendale site kids' program director, Kendra, passed out while on a jet ski, but thank goodness she wasn't alone on it and the group wasn't too far away to take her back to the house where we stayed. Not ten minutes later, the other kids' program director, Geoff, had some heart pain on the other jet ski and had to leave as well. My roommate, Rita, hurt her knee at one point during the afternoon, and our development director ran into something and got badly cut at a gas station on our way home today. It seemed like there was constantly something happening to get the team distracted and discouraged. 

Please keep Door of Hope in your prayers! I'm still very new to it all, but I can see already that God is strongly at work to restore families' lives and that the devil doesn't like it. Tomorrow we begin our after school program, I'm looking forward to getting to meet more of the children and learning more about their lives. I already met some super adorable little ones during child care last week! When I see the kids or the moms and then hear about the situations they come from, I can't even fathom their beautiful little faces enduring such pain. A staff member told me that one of the little kids actually stepped between his father pointing a gun at his mother and told his daddy not to shoot. I'm not kidding.

Last week was crazy busy. As I entered into the retreat, I got a text from a mentor of mine who encouraged me to let myself receive from God this weekend. I certainly had not been letting myself receive much from Him last week because of all the running around and trying to settle in. Then the retreat itself had a pretty full schedule with no alone time, but God was gracious enough to break through all the stuff in my head and meet me this morning as our group prayed together. I was reminded (as I constantly have to be reminded) that I cannot give well unless I also know how to receive. In a transitional housing program for victims of domestic violence, I desperately need to be filled by God or I'll become quickly drained. Our executive director gave us a great analogy of how service to God works... it's like I am a cup that as it is filled by God, it overflows. Out of the overflow of what He gives me, that overflow naturally will bless others. If I try to get filled, then empty myself, my supply will run out. That's why I need to sit still and just allow God to fill me up. Several passages of scripture came to me as I was thinking about this concept this morning, particularly Isaiah 30:15: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."

That's my goal for this week... to rest and be quiet with God.

First Week in California

I'm sitting in my fluffy pink chair with my feet propped up in its matching fluffy pink footrest. I bummed them off a girl who lived across the hall from me in my dorm last semester. She wanted to get rid of it, and I didn't know whether or not I'd need furniture in the near future. I love stumbling upon free stuff like that! It's certainly coming in handy in my new room in Pasadena. I've been here almost a week already, with hardly a spare minute. But now, even though it's very late (1:00 a.m.) I can't not give another update. So much has happened in so little time!

Heather and I moved my stuff into my new home on Saturday afternoon. I live in a house in Pasadena, a city about 20 minutes out of LA. It's an adorable old house with lots of character, and several characters inside as well :) Good characters, though, I must add. The owners rent out the rooms of the house, so there are four other tenants besides my roommate and me. On Saturday night Heather and I headed over to Chino to visit my college friend, Nicole, who graduated last December. We got some In-N-Out for dinner then headed to Santa Monica so Heather could get at least a little time in LA. It was so good to see Nicole again!

Cozy in Cozad

What a whirlwind of a week. An incredible one though, to be sure. I got a good dose of city shock with driving into the city and getting lost, but I was on the up-and-up after getting some sleep. I met several other TechMission workers who will also be in LA/Orange Counties, and we had a blast together. I am so thankful that I don't have to feel alone in this - TechMission does a great job of offering us support and plenty of training, and knowing more people in the area who are doing the same thing as me will help me settle in a little more comfortably.

Our first day of training covered TechMission and AmeriCorps stuff. The following two days consisted of training with the Center for Transforming Mission, a Christian organization that trains and supports leaders at the grassroots level to work toward positive change and transformation in poor communities. It wasn't at all the kind of training I was expecting to receive from AmeriCorps... in a good way. They challenged us to be very careful about entering another context believing we have all the answers to people's problems and to examine ourselves about why we have chosen this type of work.

Chicago

I am FINALLY in my bed, in the hostel, in the middle of downtown Chicago with the sound of the train running by. Words can't express how very glad I am to finally be where I belong, after two days of traveling. As I neared the city, I noticed lots more roads - lots more concrete. No more cornfields! Then I saw the Chicago skyline and freaked out just a little bit thinking about getting in there all by myself. Little did I know at that moment what an adventure it would be. Mapquest gave me excellent directions... except it didn't predict that my very last exit to downtown would be closed off! I don't have a GPS, so that led me into about an hour and a half of driving through the city on my phone with a friend at her computer trying to navigate me through. And just when we thought I was almost there, a concert blocked the road I needed to get onto and got me completely lost all over again! Aaargh!! I truly believe I am the WORST at navigation, so this was my worst nightmare.

But I am here. In Chicago. I have no idea what to expect tomorrow when I start training, but I don't think anyone else does either. This is certainly an adventure with lots of new experiences awaiting. I'm pretty sure I got half the city mad at me with my driving... I got beeped at at least twice that I remember when I cut vehicles off. Then I went down a one-way street. Ugh. Parking was an adventure too... well, more of a test of faith. I was told that I would have to give my keys to the attendant and let him park it, but I guess I didn't understand that I wouldn't get my keys back until I leave on Thursday morning. When the attendant said he would take my keys, park my car, and leave the keys in the car for me to get when I leave, I literally thought he might be joking. But he said that was the system here, and my car would be safe. I'm just thinking about all of my stuff IN my car.

Oh my - Jessica isn't in Delaware anymore!

Travel Update

I'm fighting some unhappy feelings at the moment. Which is NOT how I wanted to leave my beloved Delaware. But apparently doom is coming in the form of Hurricane Irene, and I have to leave tomorrow morning or else get stuck here on the peninsula and miss my TechMission orientation in Chicago which starts on Monday. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited to be heading West, but all week I had expected to have Saturday home with my family and now I've been rushed to get myself together so I can leave before the storm hits tomorrow. Such is my life - why do I even try to plan?!

To be honest, it's slightly unnerving when I see the bumper-to-bumper traffic headed inland as people evacuate the coastline, windows taped up to prevent breakage from high winds, lines at all the gas stations as people prepare for loss of electricity. The news has been covering the storm all day, scaring everyone into preparing for the worst. And if perhaps it does end up being really bad, I won't be with my family to help them through it. So if you happen to remember me in your prayers in the next couple days, for peace and encouragement as I leave my family and Delaware behind, I'd appreciate it :) Oh how I will miss it!

The plan is to leave tomorrow morning at 6:00 a.m. and stay in Indiana with friends tomorrow night. Then I'll head to Chicago on Sunday for orientation and training. Next Thursday the plan is to pick up my sister at O'hare in Chicago and head West to sunny California! Well, hopefully it's sunny. With all the doom and gloom lately, who knows? This is a very short post just to let you all know what's going on with my travel plans. Thank you so much for your thoughts and continued prayers. I will certainly be needing them in the coming transition!

Three More Days!

I'm getting close! Just three more days, and then I'm heading West to begin my next life adventure. Unless this hurricane that's wracking the Bahamas right now comes up the coast and runs me out of town early. On top of the earthquake yesterday, we East Coasters sure are getting our share of natural disasters here lately.

About a week ago, there was a thunderstorm, and as I often like to do when I see those dark, terrorizing cumulonimbus clouds approaching I went out onto our deck to watch until rain forced me back inside. The wind began to pick up, and a sudden gust gave me a split second of thrilling terror, as if it was going to suck me up into the sky. In wasn't even that strong, but in that moment I felt a total helplessness and wondered if perhaps that is how the people in the Midwest felt when tornadoes ripped through their homes this summer, or how the people in Japan felt when they saw the wall of water rush ashore with no regard to anyone or anything in its path, or those in Haiti as the earth shook and brought down buildings like a deck of cards. I can only imagine that their terror was at least a hundred times stronger than mine. It's pretty crazy how these things just come up on us, and how with all our technology and knowledge we're utterly helpless in the midst of them.

It reminds me that my God is so much bigger, stronger, more fearsome than I in my humanity can fathom. God is love, yes. And God is also to be feared, not in the I'm-scared-of-the-dark sense, but a holy fear. A recognition that He set this entire universe in motion, commands its forces to operate, and can wipe it out with but a word. (Which He will do someday soon, but then He will remake it the way He originally meant it to be, free from the bondage to darkness and sin!)

Easier Than the Last Time

On my drive home from town just now, I passed by one of the local high schools. Several sports practices were underway and the marching band was headed to the football field in formation. I never got to do marching band because I never went to a school with a football team, even in college! (I still have never attended a football game. Some might say I’m not truly American. They might be right.) I caught myself with feelings of desire to jump in with the band them and play an instrument… even though I haven’t played my clarinet or flute in a real band situation since junior high.

When I visited my old high school when my mom needed to check on something in her office, I took a look at the photo case with photos of students past and present displayed. Several of my former peers are now married or engaged – some even have babies. As I remembered each of my peers that were pictured it was evident how very much things have changed in all of our lives. Since I returned home from Albania, I have spent a lot of time with family and friends and am again reminded how the lives that I leave at home continue to change and develop when I’m gone, whether I like it or not.

Home Sweet Home

On Saturday as I walked through the city with a friend, we passed a little ice cream shop and saw an enormous hairy creature inside the door. It had a leash around its neck with a man standing beside it, probably ordering his ice cream. Then, its head turned – wait, what?! Yes, it was alive. It was a huge brown bear, sitting on its haunches in front of the ice cream counter. That’s not something you see every day. Unfortunately I did not have my camera handy and have no official proof, but apparently this man and his pet are a summertime fixture at the beach. You can ask most anyone in Durres if you don’t believe me! I imagine that he probably makes quite a bit of money by charging tourists a few dollars to get a picture with his giant brown bear. I’m pretty bummed that I don’t have a picture with him myself.

My time in Albania is now over, and I’m back in America again! I said all my goodbyes to the teens on Friday night, to the Bishops on Saturday night, and to my host family Sunday morning. I had printed a large photo of the family and me and put it in a picture frame. I presented it to the family on Sunday morning, and when I did, Arti, the father, fought back tears. Arti’s response moved me… he is a man toughened by a childhood in a closed Communist country, about 35 years of hard work, most of that lived out in a village. But in him I saw a heart softened by God. The family seemed very reluctant to let me go, Mariana especially. I felt like I was breaking her heart by leaving her household. A few nights ago she came into my room and just held me for a while, telling me over and over how much she was going to miss me and that she didn’t want me to leave. Later as I reflected on it, I realized that what she had been holding onto was not really me, but it was Jesus in me. Incarnational ministry like what the Bishops are doing is about taking Jesus into a community and living among the people. That’s what Jesus did, and every single one of us can make a difference in the lives of those with whom we interact on a daily basis. If we have Jesus in us, we have something beautiful that others can see in us. Arti and Mariana now own a Bible for the first time, and I’m praying that the seeds which were planted during my stay will be watered and that others will come into their lives to further bring them to Christ.

My time in Albania is quickly running short! There are so many things I still want to do and people I still want to see, but I suppose I could stay here for the rest of my life and pretty much feel the same way. I’ve begun mentally preparing for re-entry into my home culture. Returning from the field is hard for most people. I began reading a book about how to handle it, and Ken and Dawn are helping me know what to expect. So far, what I predict to be the most difficult point of adjustment is the feeling of purpose I have had throughout my stay here. The goal of my job seems simple – work as a development practitioner to meet physical needs within the community while developing relationships that open opportunities to share the gospel. Because the ministry field is so fresh

At the moment, I’m thinking about how my back and shoulders feel pretty rough and warm from being in the sun a bit too long today. They look ripe. It would probably help me feel cooler if I would be more careful about getting burnt. It’s just too much to remember! I can’t complain too much, though, because Stephen Bishop got a terrible burn on his face from being at the pool all day for his friend’s birthday. It’s blistered and requires a constant application of cream to help it heal. Then there’s Josh, who sprained his wrist yesterday during youth night (after breaking the opposite one a month ago). That family constantly has something going wrong! It’s a miracle if they can get through one week without going to the doctor or needing some sort of medical treatment, but they find plenty other stuff to be joyful about.

Week Six

It is the beginning of week six! What an amazing week we had last week. The teens said over and over how much they enjoyed it and hated that the week had to end. This was the first time many of these teens had heard the truth of the gospel. Some were curious about it, many came for the social benefits of being there, and two of the boys accepted Christ! It was an energetic, encouraging week for the teens, especially for the two new Christians, but now discipleship is a must.  The long-term team plans to continue meeting with the teens on Friday nights for worship, Bible study, and fellowship so that they can continue learning about scripture and have a positive place to hang out on the weekend.

In addition to the new Christians, it was also very exciting on Thursday evening when the team did cardboard testimonies. (If you’ve never heard of it, you can look it up on YouTube; it’s a powerful way of depicting how God changes individuals by putting their stories into a short phrase.) About five of the teens were already Christians, and we asked them if they would like to participate with us in the cardboard testimony presentation. They wholeheartedly agreed to stand in front of their non-Christian peers and publicly declare how God had changed them! What an awesome step for these five teens, to make a public declaration of faith for the first time. God is definitely moving among these young people, and I can’t stand the thought of leaving them in two weeks and no longer being able to watch it!!

Coming Back, Full-Circle

Two days of English camp have come and gone. The week has been significantly different than the previous four weeks in pace and tasks, and in many ways it’s like I’m back at the beginning, arriving here for the first time. The team from the States is eight people, including Danika and myself. We spend mornings planning for classes and activities. Then camp lasts from 2 p.m. to about 8 p.m. We do English classes, games, crafts, and a closing rally with worship, some drama, and a message. Yesterday our team learned a powerful drama about Satan’s attempts to control our lives and performed it during the evening rally. It matched well with the message about how we “miss the mark” of God’s plan for us due to sin. Several of these teens have been exposed to the gospel, but very few are Christians. David, our short-term team leader, spoke for a long time with one of the older teen boys called Mosi, who says he believes in God and really wants to know the truth. It’s so exciting to see God working in teens’ hearts! We are hoping and praying to continue seeing the Holy Spirit move in them this week.

Advanced English class

It rained yesterday morning and night and cooled things off quite a bit. This is the third time I’ve seen rain here, which is highly unusual for this time of year when it’s normally very hot. However, it made for a very pleasant day outside with the youth yesterday. We are extremely thankful for any relief from the heated summer afternoons.

Thoughts and Other Things

It’s been a very busy week! I spent very little time at the office this week. On Wednesday I went to Tirana with Ken to meet with an organization called Save the Children. Throughout my interviews with schools, I discovered that they have done a significant amount of work in Albania to improve the well-being of children. Since we are searching for partners to help out in the Kënet, we really wanted to discover what type of work they do. We had a very helpful meeting with two of their program coordinators. Save the Children has a good relationship with the national education department and the municipalities in which they work, including Durrës. Save the Children works with one of the schools I interviewed to train staff and students on dealing with violence against children. 

Ethnic tension between northern Albanians and southern Albanians is a big problem. It prevents cooperation within the community of the Kënet, making infrastructural, economic, and social development even more difficult. This problem is heavy upon Dawn’s heart, because she has friends from both groups who refuse to be in the same house with one another. Conflict like that seems to be an insurmountable problem, and most everyone in Albania seems to believe it can’t ever change. That’s hopelessness – to have nothing to hold on to for a better future, believing nothing can change. As I’ve observed this sense of hopelessness, it makes me realize how powerful Christ is and how blessed I am to have him. In a sense, the people are right – they can’t change. BUT with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26; Mark 10:27). Such truths from the scriptures are coming alive for me, as I observe the hopelessness that exists, and indeed it stretches the faith of even the most committed Christians here.

The superstitious beliefs and lack of morality throughout Albania in many cases are one of the sources of their poverty, particularly among those from the villages. For example, I met a 19-year-old girl last week who use to live in a village. She had worts covering one of her hands. When she was a child, she was told that counting stars would cause breakouts of worts; this was a common belief among the people of her village, so she has accepted it as her fate and never received treatment. She believes it is her fault and that it can’t be changed. I was quick to judge her for being naïve, but the Holy Spirit quickly reminded me of the plank in my eye. I am challenged by this thought – how many times have I fatalistically accepted things in my own life that I don’t believe can change? How many times have I thought, “That person can’t possibly change. He or she is too far-gone for God to be able to do anything good with them him/her”? Hopelessness creeps into my own life in subtle ways. Do I believe that God is who He says He is? Do I believe that all things are possible with God? There are still many facets of my life where He is challenging me to believe Him. I thank God for grace and the fact that sanctification is a process, because if it were supposed to happen all at once, there would be no point in me even trying.

The Global Partners team from America are on their way here! They will be here all next week putting on an English camp for teens here at the mission center. I just finished a good clean on the second floor. Knowing people are coming to use the facility was a good excuse to clean everything, which I’ve been wanting to do for a while anyway, because it’s terribly dusty. Since all the roads except the one immediately in front of us are not paved and because it hardly ever rains in the summer, everything gets very, very dusty. Albanians seem to be much better at cleaning, and they do it often. We haven’t mastered that skill quite yet. 

Oh, Technology

I need to vent… I hate technology!!! The internet has been down at work since yesterday afternoon, which is connected to the phones. So to make calls for work, I had to use my cell phone today. I tried to do some writing on the grant this afternoon, but every time I needed to look up a piece of info or refer to an email, I had to put it on my mental to-do list for later when the Internet is better. I decided to come over to the Bishops and use their Internet, which at least goes in and out… but I found out that an in-and-out connection isn’t very good for Skyping. I was just trying to talk with a friend from the U.S. a few minutes ago over Skype, and the connection kept cutting us off every 30 seconds. Ugh! It made me feel pretty much helpless. Oh, technology.

On a happier note, the last couple days I have gotten to do a significant amount of socializing. Yesterday I chatted for a while with two of the day care workers at the center. They’re around my age, and they’re Christians as well. We have a little more in common than perhaps the people I live near (don’t get me wrong… I LOVE my neighbors, too!) They get to practice their English on me, and I get to practice my Albanian on them.

Something Short

As I sit in my bedroom with the window open, the curtain is blowing back and forth rather violently for an afternoon. I can even hear the wind at times. For once I can sit here without the fan on in my room and feel pretty much comfortable temperature wise, even though it’s the hottest part of the day. This breeze we have today is very welcome after a week of very still, hot, humid weather. Last night I experienced the most sleepless night I’ve had since my arrival, because even with the fan on and the window open, there was no escape from the heat! As we get deeper into summer, the heat gets hotter. This week my physical energy level was much lower than in the previous two weeks, which helped me understand even more why few people go out in the afternoons.

My landlord and landlady work very hard to provide for their family. Arti has a large cart of sandals which he takes into town every day to sell, and Mariana makes berek pastry every night to sell to shops in the city. Now that beach season is here, they have begun taking food and drinks to the beach to sell to tourists to try to make a little more money. I did enough complaining about the heat this week for a whole family, but when I think about Arti and Mariana outside in that heat faithfully going out to earn money every day to support their family, it reminds me to toughen up and bear it.

Last night Danika and I attended our first authentic Albanian birthday party. Klesti is one of the little boys who lives in the house just in front of us and is in and out of our apartment all the time. He turned six yesterday, so his aunt and mother made dinner (darkë) for the family and a birthday cake (tortë). Enida and Redi (our landlord’s children) sang the happy birthday song in English, so of course Danika and I were able to join in. Then several of the family members pulled bills out of their pockets and gave them to Klesti… it is customary to give money to someone when they have a birthday. The family toasted to him, wishing him many more happy years. In fact, whenever you share a drink or a meal with someone here, it is typical to do a toast with your glass or coffee cup and say, “Gezuar!” which is similar to saying “Cheers!” Tomorrow Klesti and his little brother are going with their mother to Greece to visit their father who works as a field worker during the summers. We are going to miss them!

As of yesterday, it’s official that I am going to stay in Albania for two weeks longer than originally planned. The time is going by far too quickly, and since my future plans are still up in the air, I wanted to stay on just a little longer. Now instead of saying that I have two weeks left, I have an entire month!

This is a short post… okay, shorter than they usually are, but I’ll close with another cultural note: As an unmarried person I am still considered a “girl.” No matter how old you are, you are considered a child if you are unmarried – eight, eighteen, or twenty-eight. The other night I was at the Bishops’ house finishing some work while Danika came back to the apartment. Instead of leaving her alone, our host family wanted to keep her company because they didn’t want her to get scared, at home alone. If we’re out of the house past 9:00 p.m., Mariana always calls to see where we are because she doesn’t want anything to happen to her “girls.” You can rest easy, because we are well looked after :)

We are doing a good deal of PR this week. Monday I interviewed the director of a school just outside of the Kënet, and yesterday I interviewed the vice-director of the Këneta school. Anisa has been a GREAT help with interviews as a translator, especially since she has a teaching background and understands the educational issues we are trying to understand and address. And as an added bonus, we get to hang out more! On Monday after an interview, we got coffee together and talked for a couple hours. It was my first time at one of the locales here, which is crazy, because cafés are everywhere! Most of my coffee-drinking thus far has been in people’s homes, so it was nice to get out. Socializing and drinking a coffee together outside is a huge part of the culture here. Relationships are #1, and you see cafés in practically every other building!

Saranda

This past weekend Danika, my housemate, and I took a seven-hour bus ride to a city in the south called Saranda. I had planned this trip before coming out here, because my cousin's wife, Vana, grew up in Saranda before she went to the States for college, and she just happened to be in Saranda in the middle of my stay here in Albania! (Coincidence? I think not ) It came at a very good time, as last week was a very busy week, and Danika and I were both in need of some rest.

I got to meet Vana's family for the first time and stay with them in their little apartment located a five-minute walk from the beach with a perfect view of the harbor from their balcony. It was stunning! If the sky is clear, you can actually see the nearest Greek island of Corfu which you can reach by ferry from Saranda in 20 minutes. We would have jumped on the ferry immediately, except I didn't bring my passport to Saranda! Ugh! I know better for next time, I guess.

Before leaving Durres, Ken gave me the number for a guy he knew in Saranda who houses missionaries sometimes. We planned to stay with Vana's parents on Friday night and then stay at the missionary house on Saturday night. When we got to Saranda I told Vana about him, and he just so happened to be a friend of hers who she knew in high school! But wait, it gets even better.... Vana's family took us to dinner on Friday night at their favorite pizza restaurant, and he happened to show up there too! This is just one of the many ways I've seen God provide when He didn't have to.

A Post Long Past Due

I offer you my sincerest apologies for not blogging this week! I won’t start into excuses, because it will only waste time and cyberspace, and there are lots of things to write about the past week. So here goes!

As I may or may not have mentioned in a previous post, one of my initial tasks was to focus on language learning. This is a very basic and essential part of being a missionary… which seems like common sense and is reiterated in mission courses, but now that I’m on the field, I have a much more personal understanding. Ken and Dawn’s (and Global Partner’s) vision for this field is to see a sustainable Albanian church formed – not a foreign church dependent upon foreigners for its survival. My housemate puts it this way: if you’re doing your job right as a missionary, then you won’t be needed forever. The point of missions and church planting is to allow the Holy Spirit to work from within the culture as new believers are discipled and can disciple their own people. Discipleship works like multiplication. But now I’m getting a bit off track, so let’s get back to what I wanted to say.

Task Time!

It’s Saturday. Again. How can it be that I’ve reached my second weekend here already? Time is indeed passing quickly, so it’s time to buckle down and work on the grant proposal that you might remember me mentioning before I left the U.S. Let me give you a little background and info on my project…

The region in which I’m serving is called the Keneta, which means “swamp” in Albanian. Prior to the fall of Communism in 1991 the region was all farmland. Afterward, the farmers divided up the land and sold it to people from the villages who swarmed into the city looking for work. This was all done without any sort of legal process or zoning procedures. Now the region is full of illegal homes and buildings, and because of this there are no records for the buildings. People of the Kenet are generally looked down upon by the people of the city who were already living here, and the city government generally places the Kenet at the bottom of its priority list. Paved roads are nonexistent, making travel very difficult. The most common form of transportation into the city is walking, but you also see a great number of motorbikes. The roads are dirt which turns to slippery mud when it rains. Recently though, more stone has been brought into the “main” roads which makes them a little more usable during rain. No organized disposal system exists, so garbage is thrown in large piles in the streets or in the sewage canals.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

I'm sitting in the Bishop home once again, this time listening to a rather noisy cow next-door. Speaking of cows... I walked past a couple of them tied up on the sidewalk in town, with not a care in the world. Except they should care, because they were tied up next to the butcher's shop! I felt kinda bad for them. But fresh beef is something to be prized in Albania... not many people eat much meat because it's expensive. So yeah, I'm getting to eat lots of bread and vegetables!! Good thing I love my veggies. And they have some good ones here, too. Last night, I got to experience making what they call berek... it's a classic Albanian dish - basically a big savory stuffed pastry that looks like a pizza with a pie crust on top. Our landlady, Mariana, has a job making them, so she's very good at it. The ingredients are very simple, but she threw all the ingredients together without measuring anything. Danika and I are hoping to make some ourselves sometime, but it could be disastrous. I will keep you posted on any developments there.

Ina is a 16-year-old girl who lives just behind the Bishops' house, and she has an incredible singing voice. Dawn asked me before I came if I could work with her while I was here. We had our first voice lesson on Saturday and another one this afternoon. She's very good at English so the lessons go pretty smoothly as far as communication, but this is the first time I've ever taught voice before, and I feel like I'm learning just as much as she is as I try to remember what I used to do when I took voice lessons. Plus I have to play piano all while watching and listening to her, and if you know how ADD I am, you'd understand that it's a bit of a challenge. But as she left today she thanked me over and over for working with her. She's so sweet, and so patient, because I feel like I should be thanking HER for dealing with my ADD-ness!

Youth Night

It's almost 8:00 p.m. and I just returned from youth night at the Operation Mobilization Resource Center. It was a blast! Eva Bishop and her 16-year-old friend, Ina, let me go with them, and we got to play several games with a bunch of the other Albanian youth there. Ina has learned a lot of English from Eva, so we did quite a bit of talking and I found out that she speaks some Spanish! It made me happy, because you have no idea how many times I've nearly blurted out words in Spanish.... and it's not like Albanian in ANYTHING like Spanish... I think my brain just hears a foreign language I don't understand yet, and I grasp for words in the only foreign language I know...

However, Danika and I have learned most of our Albanian greetings already. We spent two hours with Anise, our language teacher this morning (which had our brains fried by noon), and soon after that one of our neighbors came up to our apartment and visited with us for a while (none of the family speak English by the way). But we had so much fun pointing at things and learning the Albanian words, and in turn giving her the English.... but I say a lot of "yo kuptoj" ("Don't understand"), and laugh at ourselves. I found out that I have a legitimate Albanian name! But it's spelled a lot differently.... Xhesika.... which looks pretty awesome, I think. I may have to consider getting it changed when I get back to the States :) 

On Friday afternoons the English missionaries get together for worship time, and we had such a sweet time of worship together. Granted, I love hearing Albanian all the time, but being able to offer up praise to God in my own native language, singing classics like "As the Deer" and "Shout to the Lord" touched me in a special way today. It was good to feel the overwhelming grace of God.... the miracle of me even being here hit me in a new way. Yet I couldn't help but think how wonderful it would be to also watch Albanians lift up sincere praise to God. Pray for these people. They are so beautiful and ripe for harvest, but the devil doesn't want them to come to Jesus. Thank you for all your prayers. I love you all!

It's about 7:45 p.m., and the day is coming soon to a close for us. It typically won't probably end this early, but the jet lag makes has made it a little difficult to be responsive throughout the day :)

I apologize to everyone for not writing sooner. I intended to post during my layover in Munich, but unfortunately I could not connect to the internet. Oh well. It gave me some time to run and get a coffee and water... which cost almost $15!! And I thought Starbucks was expensive.

As we prepared to board the plane to Tirana, I immediately recognized my new housemate, Danika, thanks to Facebook pictures. We arrived in Albania and proceeded to pick up our luggage, but waited awhile and couldn't find Danika's. It turned out that hers hadn't reached Tirana quite yet, but apparently it often happens with the Canadian airlines (Danika is from New Brunswick).

We had a wonderful authentic Albanian lunch (except for the fact that native Albanians typically eat their large meal at dinner rather than lunch) made by Eva, the eldest of the Bishop clan. She's graduating from high school next year, and then Josh is next oldest, and then Steven.

Then we went to look at our apartment, which is on the second floor of an Albanian family's home. They are such a beautiful family! Arti and Mariana are our landlord and landlady, and Arti's parents, his two children, his sister-in-law and her two boys live with them. We went over to get acquainted with the family, and what started as a simple meet-and-greet turned into cookies, Turkish coffee, and apricots, and lots more conversation.... learning Albanian.... lots of laughs at Danika and my nonresponsive faces... and three hours later we began to wrap up the visit.... Dawn was begging to let us go to bed and get caught up. Sooooo that's what I'm gonna do. Right now :) Next entry should be a little better lol, because I'll have my normal brain power back.

Soon and Very Soon

I HAD to take this picture of the view from my front porch. It reminded me of the bright, wide open skies of the West I saw last summer on a road trip to L.A. I love nature, and even though I've lived here in Delaware all my life, I still get excited every time I cross the Chesapeake on my way home... when I hear the crash of waves at the beach or see gulls caw-ing for scraps of dropped french fries... when I'm running down the road next to fields of inch-high sweet corn swaying in the wind, when I smell the honeysuckle blooming in the ditch, when I sit on the deck and enjoy Mom's mini Eden in the backyard... the irises and roses are particularly colorful just now.

It's been great to catch up with old friends over the last couple weeks. I sure do love coming back to my roots. Everything's changed a lot, but there's still no place like it. I have an awesome family and a loving church family that always welcomes me back with open arms no matter how long I've been gone, for which I'm extremely thankful. I've also been doing some substitute teaching at my old high school. THAT sure reminds me how much things have changed. Although when I notice that many of the students are taller than me, it makes me think that maybe I haven't grown up as much as I thought :)

I am still on my search for AmeriCorps jobs for after Albania, and as of last week there's a possibility that could open up. So please keep me in your prayers for that!

In exactly one week now I will have begun my trip! I leave from Philly and stop in Washington briefly before heading to Munich, Germany. Then I travel from there to the airport in Tirana, Albania, arriving before noon on June 1. I started packing today, which is my least favorite part of travel. I debate with myself the entire time, trying not to overpack but wanting to make sure I don't leave behind anything I'll definitely need. I've done a good bit of traveling and am definitely better at packing than I was five years ago, but I'm still pretty slow at it. At least I still have a whole week to finish.

A New Chapter

It is an absolutely gorgeous day here at home in Seaford, Delaware. It's about 60 degrees with a bright blue sky spotted here and there by snow-white fluffy clouds. When I walked outside this morning to feel the temperature, I could hear seagulls. I live about 30 minutes away from the ocean. As the farmers till their fields, worms and other yummy delicacies enjoyed by the seagulls get scooped onto the top of the soil, and the seagulls like to eat them up. (I just learned this yesterday from my mom.) That's why they come this far inland. Yesterday I woke up to thunder and heavy rain that lasted until noon, but all that rain seems to have brought the land to life. And when the land comes to life, it somehow brings me an extra dose of energy, as well. Sometimes I tell people that I'm like a flower... when the sun shines, my colors get brighter and I bloom! Having gone to school for four years in the midwest where the winters are long, cold, grey, and windy, I come to realize that I'm meant for sun and warmer weather.

I arrived home about 3 a.m. Sunday morning. We had a beautiful graduation ceremony at Indiana Wesleyan University. I was one of the last 15 students out of 510 to walk across the stage and receive my diploma, so by my turn I was half asleep and hardly remember walking. But I have my diploma folder to prove it, and my family assures me that I did indeed walk :)

So now begins a new chapter of life for me, perhaps the biggest change I've yet experienced. I have been a student for 17 years. It's too bad you can't become a professional student, because I think I'd be able to get that job with no problem. I'm ready for a change, though.

The thing is, I have absolutely no idea what that change is going to be. I thought college was supposed to help you figure out what you want to do with your life. In high school, I had determined exactly what I wanted to become and felt completely in control of my life. But after some time in college, my plans didn't feel right at all. They came crashing down around me as I lost control and lost sight of who I was. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, because it forced me to see my own insignificance and helplessness.

I've had a quote taped to my desk for a while, and I wish I knew where it came from, probably a pastor's sermon or something like that: "When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you but simply opening your hands to receive something better." All those times over the last four years when what I wanted was ripped out of my hands were defining moments because the only thing I could do was come to God. It wasn't pretty, either. I was lost, insecure, anxious, didn't know what to say. Somewhere in my childhood I picked up the impression that I'm always supposed to have it all together, to be in control, to know the right answers, but I soon realized that I don't have it all together. I'm not in control. I don't have all the answers. But if I did, why would I need God? Faith is being certain of what I hope for and sure of what I can't see. When I feel all messed up inside, I can be sure that He is working in me.

This has been fun, writing out some of my thoughts on life, but I never intended it to go this long and my stomach is telling me that it's time for lunch. I tend to get long-winded, so I apologize. The purpose of this blog is to keep friends and family updated on my life adventures now that I'm done with school, particularly beginning with my five-week trip to Albania next month. That way, those of you who are praying for me can know how to pray more specifically, and I need your prayers! I believe prayer can move mountains (spiritually and literally!), so PLEASE keep praying! Thanks for reading my ramblings. Go ahead and comment, ask questions, whatever strikes your fancy.... and I hope you keep on following!

"The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." (Psalm 33:10-11, NIV)