Christmas Lights

I'm not quite sure how it's December 21st already. One barely has time to turn around once December begins, and then it's over. Without final exams, school events, and tons of Christmas programs I thought that December would be a little more relaxed, BUT no such luck this year. Goings-on at the shelter have been busier than ever. Since it's been over two weeks since my last blog, I'll give a short bulleted overview of events since my last update:

• Dealt with a big verbal blow-up two Saturdays ago between two residents during on-duty time. Pretty high-stress. Had to tell a mom to "go to her room."
• Got a new roommate! Her name is Tiffany, and she's an Intercultural Studies student at Fuller Seminary. She's GREAT, and now I'm not alone as the only nights/weekends manager.
• Endured a flu epidemic among the residents here. I mentioned that I got sick, but literally every single staff member and nearly every resident, mothers and children, has gotten the flu sometime in the past month. The same weekend I had to deal with the verbal fight, another mom got really sick one evening. Tiffany and I attended to her baby and toddler while she was on the bathroom floor getting everything out, so-to-speak. I must admit I felt bad for her, but it was ironic because this particular mom has complained a lot that we are extremely "unhelpful" and "uncompassionate." She had even blown up on me earlier that day because of this issue! 
• Went to a Christmas party at the Beverly Hills Hotel with a woman from church who works there. It truly felt like a Cinderella night, because I got all dressed up, got a makeover from one of the moms here, and got to see inside one of the most luxurious five-star hotels in the country. Then at midnight... poof! All over. The only differences were that I still had both my shoes at the end of the night and no prince. I was glad to have my shoes though, because I really like them :)
• Tonight is Door of Hope's annual Christmas party and reunion. All residents and program alumni are invited to the huge event, and every single family created a wish list which Door of Hope annually has a Christmas drive for. The families will each receive gifts. We occasionally receive vehicles to present to deserving families, and we have chosen one of Glendale's moms to give a vehicle to tonight! I'm so excited, because this mom works very, very hard, has four kids who I LOVE. They are so deserving! Her old vehicle broke down a few weeks ago, and she has to use her day care company's van to drive to and from work even though it costs a boatload in gas. 

This month has worked all the staff pretty tirelessly. Even without schoolwork, I am exhausted and very much looking forward to my week vacation at home. The thought of being home again on the East Coast with family and familiar friends thrills me. Knowing that I won't have any on-duty responsibilities and will be able to finally sleep through the night for a week straight is keeping me going through this final chaotic week. As you can probably tell, it's been a bit of a struggle for me to keep focused and spiritually healthy. Because of work, I haven't been able to connect to a church or core group on a consistent basis, and it is wearing. It also makes me more vulnerable to spiritual attack. 

Even so, how great is the Lord to patiently wait for me to come back to Him. He is such a gentleman. I get in such a tizzy, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to figure out why I can't keep control of my situation. But when I finally let myself sit down for a little bit this morning, I found Psalm 34:5 - 

     Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Radiance. I think on my $1.99 thrift shop Christmas lights hanging from tacks on my wall and my skinny little Christmas tree that I found in the storage closet at work. Every night when it's especially dark outside is when they gleam the brightest and I appreciate them the most. Last night I just sat looking at my little tree for five minutes, and the cheer of it brightened my mood. I just had to take the time to notice it and allow it to change me.

Paul mentions also in 2 Corinthians that we who are Christ's reflect his glory. My face hasn't been very "shiny" lately, but I've been there before and I want to get it back. I have so many reasons to radiate the love and joy of Jesus, and I've let myself be too busy to think on them. Why is it that I get so distracted that I can't sit with the Light of the World for just a little every morning and evening and let His joy and peace penetrate my soul? I'm trying, but keep praying for me!