Cozy in Cozad

What a whirlwind of a week. An incredible one though, to be sure. I got a good dose of city shock with driving into the city and getting lost, but I was on the up-and-up after getting some sleep. I met several other TechMission workers who will also be in LA/Orange Counties, and we had a blast together. I am so thankful that I don't have to feel alone in this - TechMission does a great job of offering us support and plenty of training, and knowing more people in the area who are doing the same thing as me will help me settle in a little more comfortably.

Our first day of training covered TechMission and AmeriCorps stuff. The following two days consisted of training with the Center for Transforming Mission, a Christian organization that trains and supports leaders at the grassroots level to work toward positive change and transformation in poor communities. It wasn't at all the kind of training I was expecting to receive from AmeriCorps... in a good way. They challenged us to be very careful about entering another context believing we have all the answers to people's problems and to examine ourselves about why we have chosen this type of work.


We had lots of food for thought. The experience that stayed strongest with me was our final activity - a walk through the neighborhood of Austin in west Chicago where our training was held. We went to the location where an 11-year-old boy in the community was shot ten years ago. A memorial garden now exists there. It's not a nice, professionally manicured garden and would probably never make itself into a magazine. It has some grass that gets trimmed only every once-in-a-while, and brightly-colored flowers and hastas are planted in a somewhat messy yet intentional manner. The look and character of the garden are a perfect metaphor for what this overlooked community is experiencing as it desperately clings to the last thread of beauty it can find in a community of dead buildings, broken concrete sidewalks littered with shards of glass bottles surely thrown down as desperate people try to numb their pain with drink.

Even though this training was supposed to be sensitive to the religious beliefs of all, I couldn't deny the intense presence of God with us as we recited a memorial liturgy in memory of little Ricky and then sang "Amazing Grace." I can't explain why it brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine the pain of such poverty and needless death which happens on a regular basis - there was a shooting just on the other side of the neighborhood Tuesday night. I can't imagine living such an ignored life as the people in this community and the hundreds of other communities just like it in the United States. And that's just it - there are many forgotten communities living in our nation which suffer from poverty equal to that in some third-world nations. Needless to say, it scares me to death because I have so little in common with these people. I have many, many questions that will probably long go unanswered. But at least I see it. So many Americans choose not to. I'm not saying this in an "I'm-better-than-you" way, because I am entering this new job as a very naive, inexperienced college grad who has been sheltered her entire life and experienced little pain compared to most. Honestly, all I can think about right now is all the exciting parts of moving to Southern California - hanging out with old friends, meeting interesting new people, hitting the beach, living the urban lifestyle, being independent, being near all those Hollywood stars. I'm selfish, and I'm not proud of it.

I feel like a bit of a downer now, but I'm not gonna stay here. I know that I'm learning from all of it. In fact, I'm still really excited even in recognizing my own weaknesses and lack of experience because it's all part of the story God is writing. His grace truly is amazing because He chooses to use me despite those things. When I'm weak, His strength is that much more evident. As I get ready to jump into bed in Cozad, Nebraska, with these thoughts on my mind, and another long day of travel ahead, I'm thankful for the journey He's set before me. There are mountain ranges to cross, valleys to descend, deserts to endure, and cities to maneuver through. It's a long and tiring journey, and while it'd be nice to just skip the whole ride and get there, I would miss out on a lot of beauty along the way.