Should Be Sleeping

I am leaving for Albania in about five hours and definitely should be sleeping. But I can't. I'm too excited! I always get like this before I leave for trips - super stressed because I've procrastinated on packing and then too many things on my mind to sleep. Well, this time just like every other I finished my packing at the eleventh hour, quite literally, as it is now after 11 pm. But I'm not stressed anymore. In fact, I'm in the best mood I've been in all week! It's from a feeling of accomplishment from finishing two big projects that were hanging over my head all week, just in time for my trip. And knowing that I'm going to get a change in my routine, which has been pretty draining the last several weeks. And let's be honest... a break from my kids. Oh my kids... I think we are driving each other crazy lately and we both need a break to appreciate each other better. Tonight, though, when I returned from the laundromat, I heard from the window a soft, "Miss Jessica, I'm going to miss you!" It was one of my ten-year-old boys who loves to act cool and collected when he's around the other kids, but he can be incredibly sweet. Yes, I'm going to miss him, too.

Well, my last resident just got in, so I guess I don't have anymore excuses to stay up. I'm getting sleepy now. This is a pretty pointless post, other than me trying to get myself in bed. It's working though...

........zzzzzzz......zzzzzzzzz........

Albania - Back to the Start

This blog began last summer just before I went to Albania for the first time, and now, exactly a year later, I am returning! It's not really a surprise, considering how badly I wanted to return just after I got back. I am joining a team of five others, and we will put on an English camp for teens, many of whom I met last summer! I can't wait to see them again. The Kenet (the neighborhood where I served last year) has held a place in my heart ever since last summer when I lived and learned there for two months, and I'm curious to see what God has in store next.

Please keep our team in your prayers as we prepare our activities and face opposition from the enemy. For our team, pray for:

• Team unity
• Energy during the last week-and-a-half of preparation
• Flexibility in a new environment
• Financial provision
• Openness to the gospel message among the teens

I personally need a lot of prayer throughout this trip and even in the coming months as I seek God's will concerning my heart for Albania and missions in general. Here are some specific prayer requests:

• A willing spirit to go wherever God calls me
• Good counsel and God's guidance about next steps
• Freedom from doubt & fear
• A heart that delights in the Lord

Our team leaves the States on June 29. I was ecstatic when I got my itinerary a couple weeks ago and discovered that our layovers are in Milan and Rome... I have wanted to visit Italy ever since I learned as a kid that musical terms are in Italian.... and now I will get to be in two different Italian airports! Okay, okay, so maybe it's not that exciting since I won't get to leave the airports, but at least I will be able to say I've been to Italy! Someday, I will visit for real. 

Upside Down

It is a new day, a new week, and praise God that His mercies are new every morning! Yesterday's mistakes are now lessons learned. It would be incredibly easy for me to dwell upon everything I do wrong and feel defeated, and very often I do feel so. Nearly every single day I find myself making a silly impulsive decision, letting careless words out of my mouth, getting impatient, being limited in my ability to offer assistance, or being clueless as to how I should handle a situation.

Nearly every day I'm humbled by my limitations and weaknesses. Paul often wrote about how he could rejoice in his pain, suffering, and weaknesses, because God is all the more glorified when His work is accomplished, despite our many failures. It’s these passages that give me a great deal of encouragement right now. My small group looked at 1 Corinthians 1-2 recently, where Paul writes of the wisdom of the world in comparison to the wisdom of God: 

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." (1:27)

Oh, Boy!

After nine months with Door of Hope Glendale’s kids program, I can’t believe I ever thought I knew anything about kids. They surprise me nearly every single day. The more time I spend with them, the more insight I gain into each particular child’s situation and the more I understand how they grow. Just like most things in life, child development isn’t static. Yes, there are certain trends that we can observe to help predict and shape their behavior, but in any given day just about anything can happen and just about anything can fly out of their mouths, good or bad.

I will tell you about one of those surprises I got yesterday from one of my boys. During free time he spent nearly ten minutes telling me about a video game he loved to play where you try to kill zombies. I got the lowdown on every possible weapon that he could use and the best way to catch them off guard and how he preferred the option to kill zombies as opposed to killing humans and why…

I must admit that my brain didn’t have the capacity to handle so much zombie-killing wisdom in one sitting, and I began to zone out as he continued, all the while pondering how violence is so normalized for today’s kids… He finally got bored, as the conversation was rather-one sided, or he simply was ready to go play again with the rest of the kids. We continued on with the day.

Surprise for Mom

Life is full of surprises. This weekend, thanks to some friends from home, my family gave my mom a nice surprise for Mother’s Day. I flew home for the weekend, never telling her that I was coming. When she saw me Friday night for the first time, she had to stare for several seconds before bursting into hysterical laughter… most likely because she had finally pieced together the reasons for Dad and Heather’s suspicious behavior earlier that day as they prepared to pick me up from BWI.

It was a perfectly lovely weekend, save the brevity of my visit. We couldn’t have had prettier weather, and everything appeared extra green. Mom’s backyard gardens were in full bloom and smelled of freshly-laid mulch. She’s known for her mini Eden and unique ways of showcasing flowers, such as in an old bedframe or the bowls of old toilets. It seems a little humorous, but if you know Mom you understand J On Saturday Dad, Mom, Heather, and I spent several hours biking some of the trails near the beach. Of course we had to stop in Rehoboth for some Thrasher’s fries and henna tattoos for us girls. Sunday morning we attended church, and I was hugely encouraged to reunite with old friends and church family. Then we had some of Dad’s family over for a classic homemade Sussex County meal made by Mom, who never fails to please anyone’s palate.

Those two very short days are now over, and I’m back in Glendale once again. It is amazing how modern travel allows a would-be three-day trip across the country by car to happen in just a few hours. I left Delaware at 3:30 a.m. this morning and arrived in Los Angeles at 10:30 a.m. The time zone change makes the travel time appear much shorter than it really was, but it’s still crazy to think that I left my family this morning and made it back in time for work! Most of the day felt like an out-of-body experience with the lack of sleep, but I made it.

This weekend brought me more reminders of how incredibly blessed I am. My family looks a lot different than it did five years ago, as does our church family. Change is never easy, but God’s given all of us a whole lot of grace to emerge from it stronger and more beautiful people. There is still a lot more to come, too, and I have a great deal of hope for that future. It only gets better.