Upside Down

It is a new day, a new week, and praise God that His mercies are new every morning! Yesterday's mistakes are now lessons learned. It would be incredibly easy for me to dwell upon everything I do wrong and feel defeated, and very often I do feel so. Nearly every single day I find myself making a silly impulsive decision, letting careless words out of my mouth, getting impatient, being limited in my ability to offer assistance, or being clueless as to how I should handle a situation.

Nearly every day I'm humbled by my limitations and weaknesses. Paul often wrote about how he could rejoice in his pain, suffering, and weaknesses, because God is all the more glorified when His work is accomplished, despite our many failures. It’s these passages that give me a great deal of encouragement right now. My small group looked at 1 Corinthians 1-2 recently, where Paul writes of the wisdom of the world in comparison to the wisdom of God: 

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." (1:27)

Oh, Boy!

After nine months with Door of Hope Glendale’s kids program, I can’t believe I ever thought I knew anything about kids. They surprise me nearly every single day. The more time I spend with them, the more insight I gain into each particular child’s situation and the more I understand how they grow. Just like most things in life, child development isn’t static. Yes, there are certain trends that we can observe to help predict and shape their behavior, but in any given day just about anything can happen and just about anything can fly out of their mouths, good or bad.

I will tell you about one of those surprises I got yesterday from one of my boys. During free time he spent nearly ten minutes telling me about a video game he loved to play where you try to kill zombies. I got the lowdown on every possible weapon that he could use and the best way to catch them off guard and how he preferred the option to kill zombies as opposed to killing humans and why…

I must admit that my brain didn’t have the capacity to handle so much zombie-killing wisdom in one sitting, and I began to zone out as he continued, all the while pondering how violence is so normalized for today’s kids… He finally got bored, as the conversation was rather-one sided, or he simply was ready to go play again with the rest of the kids. We continued on with the day.

Surprise for Mom

Life is full of surprises. This weekend, thanks to some friends from home, my family gave my mom a nice surprise for Mother’s Day. I flew home for the weekend, never telling her that I was coming. When she saw me Friday night for the first time, she had to stare for several seconds before bursting into hysterical laughter… most likely because she had finally pieced together the reasons for Dad and Heather’s suspicious behavior earlier that day as they prepared to pick me up from BWI.

It was a perfectly lovely weekend, save the brevity of my visit. We couldn’t have had prettier weather, and everything appeared extra green. Mom’s backyard gardens were in full bloom and smelled of freshly-laid mulch. She’s known for her mini Eden and unique ways of showcasing flowers, such as in an old bedframe or the bowls of old toilets. It seems a little humorous, but if you know Mom you understand J On Saturday Dad, Mom, Heather, and I spent several hours biking some of the trails near the beach. Of course we had to stop in Rehoboth for some Thrasher’s fries and henna tattoos for us girls. Sunday morning we attended church, and I was hugely encouraged to reunite with old friends and church family. Then we had some of Dad’s family over for a classic homemade Sussex County meal made by Mom, who never fails to please anyone’s palate.

Those two very short days are now over, and I’m back in Glendale once again. It is amazing how modern travel allows a would-be three-day trip across the country by car to happen in just a few hours. I left Delaware at 3:30 a.m. this morning and arrived in Los Angeles at 10:30 a.m. The time zone change makes the travel time appear much shorter than it really was, but it’s still crazy to think that I left my family this morning and made it back in time for work! Most of the day felt like an out-of-body experience with the lack of sleep, but I made it.

This weekend brought me more reminders of how incredibly blessed I am. My family looks a lot different than it did five years ago, as does our church family. Change is never easy, but God’s given all of us a whole lot of grace to emerge from it stronger and more beautiful people. There is still a lot more to come, too, and I have a great deal of hope for that future. It only gets better.

Not-So-Sunny California

What ever happened to the warm southern California sun??!? It’s been rainy and cold for a week. Definitely not what I moved west for. (Guess I had better remind myself that I moved west to work, not to get a tan. Although I was hoping a tan would be a nice little bonus.) I have to say something about the beaches, too: every single time I have visited Santa Monica during the day, the sky was overcast. Last Friday when my college girlfriends were here, it was over 80 degrees in Glendale, so we decided it would make the perfect beach day. We departed for Santa Monica, donned in sunglasses and beach attire and lightly coated in sunscreen to protect against the rather bright sunlight. About 20 minutes away from the coast I noticed that the sun had essentially disappeared. I put my hand out the window to feel a breeze that was at least 15 degrees cooler than when we’d left. Of course we couldn’t waste the 45-minute drive we’d made, so we hung out in Santa Monica for a few hours. Had to buy hot coffee to survive, but we still made it fun. Here's some of the evidence:

Slowing Down and Being Quiet

I’ve been at a loss for inspiration lately. I started a post almost two weeks ago but couldn’t quite finish it. Those of you who know me well will agree that I am a perfectionist, so it usually takes me awhile to produce something my pride will let me share. The fact that I’m making excuses for why I haven’t blogged gives evidence that I’m a perfectionist because I have this idea that if I were good at keeping up with people I would blog more often, as if there’s some rule that says how often I must send out updates! I think I’ve made comments about it in other posts, too. Okay, no more apologizing. I’m just gonna do what I can do.

My mental capacity hasn’t been at such a level where I could conjure up anything very coherent, either. In other words, I’ve been exhausted and in need of space to simply rest during those times when I might otherwise be able to blog. Blogging can be, however, sort of a spiritual exercise for me. I like to get my thoughts and even my struggles “out there,” and since I’m an internal processor I suppose blogging allows me to solidify my thoughts and organize them. I always feel good after writing a good post. My problem is that lately I haven’t had the mental or emotional space to do so, because writing or blogging requires something that I have a really difficult time doing…

Slowing down and being quiet.