Visiting Indiana

My flight ascends above Indiana as I head back east after a weekend of ministry. While exhausted from all the travel and expending so much social energy, I sense the Spirit of Peace all around me. God opened the doors for me to make this trip to share at a couple of churches I was connected with during college, and I could feel the leagues of angels my prayer team released to guide and encourage me throughout the weekend. I always wonder and worry about what exactly I should say, how I should say it, am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing, am I assertive enough to get funded, etc.

My worries stem from desire to offer my Lord excellence and obey Him in every way.  At the beginning of the weekend I was talking about this with a dear friend, and she explained to me how lately she had been praying a lot about the Lord’s will for her life but then realized that what really matters is being with Him rather than getting caught up in what He wants her to do. She later encouraged me with this in an email:

“I’m praying for God to give you a profound awareness of His presence on Sunday. He cares more about your heart and your relationship with Him than anything else.”

The culture of the United States values productivity, efficiency, and success. I am a product of that culture and come from a family of hard workers, so I naturally feel the need to be productive and do a good job at what I do. I wondered if I was prepared enough to share in the churches. When I stood up in front of each group, I felt the anxiety slip away though, and the words flowed out. At different points I thought: I wonder if this is clear. Am I being too wordy? Am I pushing the time too long? But all the while, something happened as I shared what God has done in my life. The Holy Spirit was speaking. He was reminding me how much He has changed me.  He was reminding me how small I am and how big He is. He was reminding me that He loves me too much to let me hang onto the things that give me false security. He was reminding me that He wants His glory made known.

And that’s what happened. At the same time, He was telling other people things that they needed to hear. I don’t know how the Spirit spoke to so many different people, in a different way for each one, but the response in each service was incredibly humbling. As the words went out, the Holy Spirit supernaturally ministered to different hearts in the congregation. Different people mentioned different things that stood out to them, and I am amazed at the power of the Spirit to do such a thing as speak intimate words of love to so many at once, all with different needs or desires or burdens. Our all-powerful God is a relational God who cares so deeply for every single person on earth – if only all would open themselves to Him!

I felt the presence of the Christ among us richly, just as was prayed over me, and I realized that my performance is meaningless. What matters is my relationship with Jesus… how I know Him. Am I with Him? Am I telling Him my worries and letting go of them to let Him deal with them? Am I listening to His quiet, powerful voice? Do I trust Him with the things I don’t understand? 

God: "How long will it take for you to understand that this is bigger than you? Why do you worry that you can't do this? Of course you can't. But I can. Follow Me and I will do the rest. Just trust Me."

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Here is just a little bit of who/what I got to see while in Indiana...

My college piano professor and her husband treated
me to an authentic Korean lunch. Yum!

A stop at Indiana Wesleyan, no matter how brief,
is never complete without some McConn :)

A dear professor, teacher, encourager - Dr. Jolly Beyioku.
He's been a big part of God's guiding me into long-term
cross-cultural ministry.

David & Dena, my first short-term team leaders in Albania.
They are amazing encouragers and supporters to me,
super passionate about missions, and we had a blast hanging out.

Lakeview Wesleyan Church in Marion, IN, is where I attended
during college. I had the privilege of sharing there Sunday
morning. Just like the sign says, it was home - they are true family.