Easier Than the Last Time

On my drive home from town just now, I passed by one of the local high schools. Several sports practices were underway and the marching band was headed to the football field in formation. I never got to do marching band because I never went to a school with a football team, even in college! (I still have never attended a football game. Some might say I’m not truly American. They might be right.) I caught myself with feelings of desire to jump in with the band them and play an instrument… even though I haven’t played my clarinet or flute in a real band situation since junior high.

When I visited my old high school when my mom needed to check on something in her office, I took a look at the photo case with photos of students past and present displayed. Several of my former peers are now married or engaged – some even have babies. As I remembered each of my peers that were pictured it was evident how very much things have changed in all of our lives. Since I returned home from Albania, I have spent a lot of time with family and friends and am again reminded how the lives that I leave at home continue to change and develop when I’m gone, whether I like it or not.

To live is to change. We enter the world as tiny miniature human beings and begin the process of development. We learn to communicate and to walk. When we begin school we start learning about the world and how to relate to other people. We reach young adulthood and form our identity, marry and start families of our own, watch them grow up. We age, and eventually we die. But death isn’t the end either, at least not for those who believe in the power of God to raise us from the dead. We enter into an eternity of more change – growing in knowledge of God and discovering all the wonders of a redeemed universe as God originally intended it to function. It’s a whole big process of change and growth.

My grandmother turned 90 years old last weekend, so our family threw a big party for her with lots of church friends and out-of-town family coming in. She’s a pretty amazing woman who loves to serve, and she may very well go another ten years. When I asked her, she said she never imagined she would live to be 90 years old. She just kept living life as it came. That’s a lot of change in 90 years.

Change is hard a lot of the time. I like to think of the process of metamorphosis caterpillars go through in order to become butterflies. The little creature wraps itself in a hard casing while it changes. But then in order to get out, the butterfly must squirm and wriggle and push and stretch until it finally breaks through its protective case. In the process of all that difficulty, the butterfly’s muscles and wings are strengthened so that it can fly away into the great unknown and live a happy butterfly life. If someone came along and opened the case for it, they would essentially kill the butterfly. It would be weak and helpless. It couldn’t fly to the flowers nearby to get its daily supply of nectar to eat. I’m sure that little guy didn’t enjoy being cooped up inside that case or enduring the break-out, but it was necessary in order for him to change into something better and hardier.

I love all the analogies in nature that show how life works. God is so creative like that. The butterfly analogy perfectly illustrates how He lets us go through those difficult times in life, hard situations or just plain change. He loves us so much that He won’t give us the easy way out and then be crippled for life. What kind of God would He be if He made everything easy for us? He lets us fall, but He’s right there behind us to pick us up again, knowing that each time we stand up will be easier than the last time.

As I reflect on the changes I’ve experienced in the last four years my defining moments are the ones when I was breaking through the cocoon, in pain with no idea which way was up or down. And I didn’t necessarily handle those things gracefully, either. I cried and complained. Lots. But I thank God that He handles me with grace, despite myself, and that He led me through, because I’m stronger now than I was before. Now that I have graduated from college, I’m getting ready to go through change again. There’s change in my family, in my social circle, in my lifestyle, in my responsibilities (meaning there’s more of them). I’m moving across the country, for goodness’ sake, so that’s certainly gonna bring with it a great level of change! Some of that change is exciting, while other parts are very uncomfortable. I don’t enjoy the uncomfortable parts, but knowing what I know now I don’t want to run away from it. I know that I’ll be better off after walking through the changes. And if I live until I’m 90 years old, I had better get used to it.